There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under the Sun. Ecclesiastes 3:1
Leaving behind a painful past?
Bad things have happened to me in my life time. Some don’t bear thinking about – but now I laugh. I don’t just mean about the little things like when I was all dressed up and walking to the front of a packed church during a silent break. I felt so “just right” until I tripped over my own feet in my little heels and fell flat on my face right near the front where the whole church could see!
Sprawled out like a bad cartoon I had trouble picking up my things and getting up – dignity was long gone and I wasn’t feeling “just right” any more. Head held low to avoid seeing anyone it was the old ladies at the end of the pews who reached out a hand to help me up. “Never mind Dear, I fall down sometime too” I looked up to see the kind face of someone over 70. It didn’t exactly help my pride.
Or when I was asked to brief a new senior director at work on our budget system. I was so nervous, he was the Finance Director for the whole of the corporation and he’d be checking my math! I sat in chair next to him and dutifully explained the rows and columns and how we got the figures while my anxiety expressed itself in my constantly rubbing the arm of my chair.
He relaxed, more and more by the minute, stretched out and put his hands on the back of his head as he leaned back and relaxed, smiling. I was confused, I was sure I was talking gibberish and he was laughing at me inside and so I got more anxious and rubbed the arm of the chair faster. Until I looked down and saw it wasn’t the arm of the chair at all but his knee!
Little things like these we live though and look back and laugh. But what about the big dark things that happen to us, scar us and make us cry out for mercy? Can we laugh at them too or do they haunt us forever?
I have travelled though some very dark terrain in my life and although the memory remains the pain has eased. This is how it happened.
1. The pattern of pain got broken when I changed my life and focus by accepting God and spending more time thinking and learning about Him
“I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.” John 12:46 (NIV)
2. I practised thinking about new better things instead of dwelling on my anger and pain.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9 (KJV)
3. I changed the way I related to the people who were hurting or discouraging me. I realised that although they were in need of God’s help I was not tied to them.
“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
5. I accepted that God gave me freedom of choice and that I didn’t have to go along with anything I didn’t want to.
“For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” 1 Thessalonians 4:7 (NIV)
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, “Titus 2:11-12 (NIV)
6. I learned to love myself more as I realised how much God valued me and the potential He saw in me. Even though I didn’t trust my judgement I knew I could trust His.
“God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love - not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” 1 John 49-10 (NLT)
“To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.” Revelation 1: 5-6 (NIV)
7. I did the things God wanted me to, even if I didn’t feel like it or felt like I was pretending. I practised being the person He wanted me to be in my dress, the things I’d say, behaviour and activity choices until it grew on me and became me.
“You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.” 1 Peter 4:2-3 (NIV)
“Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” John 14:23 (NIV)
8. And through out I prayed constantly that God would heal me from the pain and take away any anger, bitterness or lasting damage in me.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)
“Pray without ceasing. “ Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)
Many years have passed; following Him has changed my outlook, self value, and life direction so now I encourage you to do the same. You may not always understand His leading, but you’ll
Bad things have happened to me in my life time. Some don’t bear thinking about – but now I laugh. I don’t just mean about the little things like when I was all dressed up and walking to the front of a packed church during a silent break. I felt so “just right” until I tripped over my own feet in my little heels and fell flat on my face right near the front where the whole church could see!
Sprawled out like a bad cartoon I had trouble picking up my things and getting up – dignity was long gone and I wasn’t feeling “just right” any more. Head held low to avoid seeing anyone it was the old ladies at the end of the pews who reached out a hand to help me up. “Never mind Dear, I fall down sometime too” I looked up to see the kind face of someone over 70. It didn’t exactly help my pride.
Or when I was asked to brief a new senior director at work on our budget system. I was so nervous, he was the Finance Director for the whole of the corporation and he’d be checking my math! I sat in chair next to him and dutifully explained the rows and columns and how we got the figures while my anxiety expressed itself in my constantly rubbing the arm of my chair.
He relaxed, more and more by the minute, stretched out and put his hands on the back of his head as he leaned back and relaxed, smiling. I was confused, I was sure I was talking gibberish and he was laughing at me inside and so I got more anxious and rubbed the arm of the chair faster. Until I looked down and saw it wasn’t the arm of the chair at all but his knee!
Little things like these we live though and look back and laugh. But what about the big dark things that happen to us, scar us and make us cry out for mercy? Can we laugh at them too or do they haunt us forever?
I have travelled though some very dark terrain in my life and although the memory remains the pain has eased. This is how it happened.
1. The pattern of pain got broken when I changed my life and focus by accepting God and spending more time thinking and learning about Him
“I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.” John 12:46 (NIV)
2. I practised thinking about new better things instead of dwelling on my anger and pain.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9 (KJV)
3. I changed the way I related to the people who were hurting or discouraging me. I realised that although they were in need of God’s help I was not tied to them.
“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
5. I accepted that God gave me freedom of choice and that I didn’t have to go along with anything I didn’t want to.
“For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” 1 Thessalonians 4:7 (NIV)
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, “Titus 2:11-12 (NIV)
6. I learned to love myself more as I realised how much God valued me and the potential He saw in me. Even though I didn’t trust my judgement I knew I could trust His.
“God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love - not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” 1 John 49-10 (NLT)
“To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.” Revelation 1: 5-6 (NIV)
7. I did the things God wanted me to, even if I didn’t feel like it or felt like I was pretending. I practised being the person He wanted me to be in my dress, the things I’d say, behaviour and activity choices until it grew on me and became me.
“You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.” 1 Peter 4:2-3 (NIV)
“Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” John 14:23 (NIV)
8. And through out I prayed constantly that God would heal me from the pain and take away any anger, bitterness or lasting damage in me.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)
“Pray without ceasing. “ Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)
Many years have passed; following Him has changed my outlook, self value, and life direction so now I encourage you to do the same. You may not always understand His leading, but you’ll