He Remembers Me
When I am old and frail, I wonder what I will look back on. Which of my todays will become my special yesterdays and why? Can I predict, based on who I am today, what will be worth remembering or will my values and priorities change over time so much that I will surprise myself?
Let’s face it we have all surprised ourselves at sometime or other. Things that were once clear in our thinking become uncertain and confused. We lose our way; we forget what we valued even what we saw, and we forget who people really are.
We learn to distrust those we once believed in, those we looked to for help to anchor our souls. But why? Sometimes those we love fool us, it’s a sad but true fact, and so trust is damaged. Family, friends and lovers are all human after all. Do we dare to love them as they are?
Other times, if we are honest, we are the ones who stray in our thinking. We want what we want and we push away those who might advise against it. “They wouldn’t understand,” “they don’t know,” “they’re just saying it because”….. We project selfish, petty motives onto their words and deliberately misunderstand their meanings.
We hurt in the end both ourselves and them. Separation from those who nurture us is a hard path to choose, whatever the reason of the moment. Then when time has passed and our waywardness is over do we have the courage to admit that maybe, just maybe, we wilfully went our own way? Or do we blame them still? Or wish to change them still? How accurate and unbiased are our memories then?
So it is with us and others and so, to some extent, with us and God. We make choices, some good and some bad. Sometimes in ignorance, and sometimes with full knowledge. Do we push him away because he has become inconvenient to us? Because his counsel conflicts with our desires?
My short memory astounds me, how often must I learn that he really does know best and that he doesn’t want me to hurt myself? Must I relearn this single most precious point weekly? Daily? No, minutely. His long memory also astounds me – how long has he remembered his love for me and my (few) good qualities, and searched with longing for me again and again to pick me up and dust me off and forgive me once more.
Yes, He remembers me; and for my part I choose to remember him always.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
Psalm 139: 23-24 (NLT)
“For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens, your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.”
Psalm 57:10 (NLT)