I Stumble and Fall
I make mistakes and knowingly do wrong more often than I’d like to admit. It’s as if I’m not really choosing to be bad or to do bad but, you know, stuff happens and I do and sometimes am. And yes I won’t lie to you, in the end I’m the one who chose to do it, even if a day later I can’t believe I did.
It doesn’t really matter much what the ‘it’ is. If we’re honest, many of us have an ‘it’. A thing we do that we wish we didn’t. A thing that has got hold of us. That almost seems to control us. A thing we’d rather not admit to.
And when I mess up the easiest thing to do is to drop my head and look at the floor instead of at my faith and try to avoid God. After all, He knows. In fact he’s the one who told me in my head not to do it. I knew it was wrong but I ended up doing it anyway. What now?
At the time when I need him most, when my self-esteem and confidence is at a low, I feel like running away and hiding. Maybe that’s what’s so bad about doing bad things. It’s drives us further from the one who can help.
At times like this, I like to sit and close my eyes and see myself as a little toddler walking down a garden path, at the end of the path is God’s arms wide open to embrace me, he has a bright encouraging smile. And there I am distracted by the flowers, tripping over my feet, getting pricked by thorns and crying.
I stumble and fall and get up again. A few more steps and I fall again. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I frown – sometimes I even laugh. A few steps forward, I fall, I stand, I walk and fall again. But when I look up, I still see God waiting, arms still open wide to embrace me and I realise falling is not good but if I just keep walking towards God, in the end I’ll make it and I won’t stumble and fall anymore.
“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else.
Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.
These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death
So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters.
Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.
He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.”
James 1: 12– 18 (NLT)